As someone who has been selfish towards my loved ones during unhappier times, and also has the blessing and curse of being able to suspend empathy in certain cases, though thankfully never for long (e.g. during an argument or just chasing an idea logically), I have committed just enough of these sins on occasion to understand how this man may have let himself devolve into such a deeply unhealthy place. But I also have very little sympathy because it is an act of real maturity — of self-actualization and then transcendence, to use the word’s of Maslow— to rise above such pettiness. To me it seems his actions are ultimately self-destructive because of living so inauthentically that they cut him off from the healthy loves and friendships we all need to be our best selves. It saddens me that you experienced that for so long, but perhaps the silver lining is it contributed in some way to making you the stronger, more alive person you are today. Thanks as always for sharing your story, dear Ena!