Being made fun of for something, which we've all experienced in varying degrees, is hurtful and affecting, but it's not the same as programming is it? To me that invokes something more planful, and even possibly nefarious rather than a more forgiveable human display of inconsideration. But again I'm not going to tell you what your experiences were or how to interpret them, just that they don' t match with my own experience or perspective. I find too that artistic folk (if I don't presume to much assuming here) often have higher than average levels of sensitivity; those barbs sting more for us than they might for another. And young women can be ruthless to a fellow, often unwittingly, and often because they've suffered from callous men or endless unwanted proposition from so many other guys in turn. But I can empathize. I had to work to attain the comfort I now have with most women around me and in intimate settings. Wishing you the best, my friend!