First I clapped for this--it’s good writing on a topic worthy of discussion. That said I might ever-so-gently push back in an underlying implication: that there is a single right cadence in a relationship. Intent is paramount, as is communication. If you have both talked about what you want and how his intermittency puts you off, and still he violates this with only what he wants, then yes this is selfish and inconsiderate. This same cadence might be entirely appropriate between two poly folks, by constrast. It can be done with genuine care, honesty, and consideration. You are the who lived it so I give you the benefit of the doubt that your feelings are justified. But I’d be careful in prescribing judgment too absolutely. Thanks again for sharing! I look forward to more of your work!