First off, splendid article and a great topic! But bear with me here a moment if I ask what hopefully is a gently challenging question: does your ability to love someone, in whatever small or large capacity, require the other person to reciprocate in equal measure? This probably is more true than not in a traditional monogamous dyad. But I think it is less the case in more open relationships. To me there is something freeing about being able to unabashedly, maturely have feelings without fears and expectations —it is both a willingness to be vulnerable and a self-confidence of knowing your own value as a friend, lover, or pick-your-title. Maybe I’m a bit naive: jealousy and the hurt of one-sided feelings are realities we all face. I just think they can be managed, and in doing so find even greater feelings of self-fulfillment and loves. And I’ve been on the deceiver end of extramarital relationships. Honestly it’s how I was able to finally admit that loving multiple partners was not only possible for me but preferable. I will never go back to participating in deception again, though I both understand it and do not judge others who find some measure of solace in an affair. At least that’s my crazy take on it 🙂.