Great article, and great topic! First off, I loathe the MRA / MGTOW / manosphere space and the obnoxious grandstanders who exemplify it. I see how it seeps into what my teen boys hear and are affected by.

But I think one of the most insidious and seductive parts of much of the rhetoric is that some bits of it...and bear with me here to the end...are legitimate messages of empowerment embedded among the overwhelming amount of dysfunctional, misogynistic garbage. Some of these include: focusing on improving yourself instead of being overly focused on dating (or lack of it), taking control of your own financial well-being, ending toxic relationships (yes I see the irony here too), the importance of self-knowledge and confidence, being direct and candid, the importance of having healthy spaces for men. There are also arguably legitimate discriminations they call out, such as court bias against fathers in child custody disputes.

These bits of wheat make it easier for impressionable, struggling men to overlook the all the chaff. All the reasons you note for concern and that we should be doing better for our boys and young men are absolutely on point: it is overwhelmingly harmful, shallow, and hypocritical. I find the absence of important social capabilities like kindness, compassion, empathy is hugely telling about this space. But I believe we also will win more minds and hearts over to healthy alternatives by not denying there may be kernels of truth in the mix that resonate with men's lived experiences.

I hope this landed as intended.