I missed this piece in the uproar of Supreme Court news this week, but wow, it's wonderful. Genuine and thoughtful as always. I've experienced enough MFM threesomes and other shenanigans to anecdotally confirm the "strangle and mangle" and jackrabbit approaches seem to be pro forma for many fellows. And I think you are onto something when wondering how much it ties to cultural expectations of men in bed. I have found that a willingness to be both student and teacher helps immensely; I can thank women of my past for demonstrating how amazing the change-up of pacing (and imagination on ways to do so) can be for delightfully good sex. I think it may be a kind of pride, an unwillingness to be vulnerable, that plagues many men who resist broadening their sexual reportoire with a partner. Lack of real sex education, purity culture, porn as a poor substitute for education/experience, and also their perception (real or mistaken) about expectations from the women they've had sex with I think may also all play a role. Anyway, thanks for considering my response! Great article!