I read this unkind reply a while back and let it slide but it bothers me that it remains unchallenged.

So yes, the clitoris in its entirety has 7000–8000 nerve endings, compared to about 4000 in the corresponding portion of the penis, though both also develop from the same biological tissue late in development and have remarkable similarities. So checkmark for biology.

But to me, nearly everything else in your rather hostile response only supports the author’s point: that there are multitudes of men unable to listen to women enough to understand how they are hampering their partners’ orgasms instead of helping, and that we’d likely all be having better sex with more patient and knowledgeable male lovers willing to check their egos at the door.

Are you trying to argue that female selfishness (due to their ostensibly superior nerve-ending-driven orgasmic superpowers) is a significant problem? Consider the facts: a female orgasm takes an average of 13 minutes compared to 2–7 minutes for men (depending on which study you believe), male orgasm statistics during all varieties of sex are markedly higher, and — most damning of all — 10–15% of women have *never* attained an orgasm. There is an abundance of research showing the importance of feeling relaxed and confidently comfortable for attaining orgasm (for both genders, but especially for women). The expression that “the most important sex organ is the brain” exists for good reason.

Believe me, I understand how the word “mansplain” can generate a defensive reaction. But you might do well to examine the defensiveness (both yours specifically and our male-gendered tendency toward it generally), the cultural bias against women speaking their minds, and the role of subconscious thinking in our reactions. I think your response says a whole lot more about those things than it does about biology.

Or if you just want some good advice on being a more generous and informed lover, check out the book “She Comes First” by Dr. Ian Kerner.

I for one am much more interested in a world where we have more vocal and confident women attaining their “big O’s” on the regular.