I'm trying to suggest this gently and hope it lands that way for each of you: understanding each other isn't going to happen with an accusatory tone (and hyperbolic words like "twisted").

I think Sophia, you are spot-on with the use of "value" over "respect". It is an infinitely better way to phrase it. At the same time, this was the word from the author's source material and not everyone is sensitive to how these two words might play very differently to many women (particularly ones who have suffered thru sexually demanding, abusive, or inconsiderate men). I suggest asking the author instead of accusing. I choose to believe it may be a problem of unawareness rather than intent. Seeking understanding over easy assumption.

And I agree with you Ricky, that the idea of showing respect (or value 😉) requires diminishing that for oneself seems flawed. But so is resorting to personal attacks on the person you disagree with.

Wishing you both the best.