Interesting, and thanks for sharing. First, your experiences are yours and I don't doubt the truth of them. That said the "programmed by women" phrase sits awkwardly to me (though I'm not disagreeing). It does make me wonder how much of that is actual vs perceived expectation. It's so easy for both men and women to play the stereotypical cultural scripts when it comes to sex. I also think there is also a *lot* of posturing from both partners when we are young and still figuring out how to communicate in bed. I think women are equally uncertain about telling men what they really enjoy in bed (as Yael's experience demonstrates). Sometimes that uncertainty will manifest as unthinking or even cruel words from a partner. To me this underscores the importance to good sex of communication, a learning mindset, openness, and willingness to be vulnerable. I appreciated your thoughts so I'm glad you shared!