It seems to me that at its core a comment like this comes from blind selfishness and a callous uncaring for another person's feelings or right to not be made to feel unsafe in their own community. The fact that many do it unthinkingly or out of long habit, while perhaps maybe makes it a crime of omission rather than intent, does not change the impact. I do honestly believe that most people if faced with a true understanding of how this made you feel, would have a much harder time saying these things. But that level of empathy and willingness to understand seems in short supply these days among so many.

Your words help, Yael. I can assure you that there is a young woman (or anyone really) reading today who will be thinking of your story when it happens to them, and may help them give that extra bit of bravery to constructively confront it themselves.