It sounds like this must've had a profound impact on you; you still seem a bit upset about it (which I say kindly as a fellow sensitive soul). I can identify; past experiences both good and bad can affect us more than we might wish. I often try to find the humor in it: the old adage "if it's not a great time, it's a great story" is one I always keep at the ready.

I'd make a few observations: first, she was a young woman still figuring out what she wanted too, it sounds like. I remember as a 20-something flirting with a pretty young woman at a club. She was smiling and enjoying the attention, when her husband (whaaat?) came up purple with anger telling me he was a 3rd degree blackbelt who was about to rearrange my face. Clearly that couple had some issues to work out. I regard the story today with pity (and curiosity), not anger. I'm not to going to let that color my entire outlook on dating (though I knew from then on to check for a wedding band, and clarify her status). Empathy and understanding get you so much further with people.

One comment does stick with me though that I might gently challenge you on: your quid-pro-quo assumption that giving the father a bottle of scotch (and playing the role of a "perfect little stupid gentleman") somehow implied that she owed you something. IMO, that is some classically patriarchal and objectifying thinking that many women now (rightfully so) reject, and regard as inauthentic, even toxic. It doesn't excuse her standing you up, but put it in perspective: this is just a part of dating--a necessary risk of putting yourself out there. I feel pretty sure your reaction, though understandable, is not a healthy one. Or a healing one.

Sorry for the long response.