Where to begin here? So I've experienced for myself examples of some of your points: the willful misunderstanding when attempting to engage on the topic of masculinity--the easy labeling and accusation, the passion that tends to drown out the ability to listen--so this article is voicing a problem with the tenor of debate. But you don't improve it by doubling down on all the things wrong in the first place. First, there is no serious argument that patriarchy is not a real thing...to characterize it as paranoid notion defies history and proven fact. You might argue about using the wording "The Patriarchy", i.e. implying a monolithic, organized singularity rather than a distributed set of societal structures grounded in assumptions of male supremacy...then let's say that instead. I see plenty of young men engaged in self-improvement and healthy celebrations of masculinity. These tend to be ones that engage with women and focus on channeling men's aggression into healthy pursuits, not defensively stoking the fires of anger, and bemoaning the loss of the untenable aspects of masculinity that feminists are justifiably rallying against, often in defense of their very lives and livelihoods. Empathy will get you a lot further in terms of positive growth than a mindset of retrenchment and responding to the generalization and "othering" of men by doing even more of it back. This probably came out less friendly than I intended; apologies if so. Honestly I probably wasn't much different than you in my early 30's in rebuffing feminist claims, but I can assure you--if nothing else, on the basis of my own vastly improved happiness and experiences with people of all genders (and really anyone with a different point of view)--there is a better way to approach this.