Laugh-out-loud funny article! And as a bit of a research geek, I appreciated the citations to your sources. Some of these responses are hilarious, intentionally and not.

One item that has my OCD acting up: is "schnauzer" actually a term for nose? Or did you mean "schnoz"? That one had me braking full-stop mid-article and trying to make sure I understood what on earth was being communicated (rereading your subtitle clarified).

Keep it up, Carlyn! So to speak.