This is a lovely post Krys, and I vigorously agree with this sentence in particular. I’ve lost times of the number of assurances I’ve had to give that I’m having a fantastic time regardless of whether I’m hard, soft, or somewhere between, and typically going between all three a few times during a session. I’ve been blessed with lovers who adore giving oral where I’ve never come from it, but they have me spasming all over the bed in a tantric state that has even felt better than the actual release (though it took some practice to learn to get to that place). I actually know for myself personally, that the better I get to know my partners (who they are as people as well as their specific preferences and proclivities in the bedroom), the more I’m able to relax and enjoy the sex. It is also worth noting for men that testosterone levels are highest in the mornings and slowly decrease during the day — I know I’m much more inclined toward morning or midday romp over a late night rendezvous. This knowledge about myself has helped me reduce stress, though having to explain it sometimes to a new lover produces it’s own bit of anxiety. Thank you for sharing!