Timothy, my man, my heart goes out to you. It sounds like you've had to endure some adversity, and it has worn you down. Everything bad that happens to you is absolutely not your fault. But your response to it is on you (that's what taking responsibility is; it is literally how you respond). Not letting it embitter you, finding ways to be happy, be confident, not let yourself be defined by the boxes others may have put you in--and these are all qualities other people find attractive--is going to require some introspection on your part. Every one of us has tasted varying degrees of all of these struggles. I can't tell you the way to rise above it; it might be therapy, or traveling, or attaining a new skill, or new friends, or meditation, or thrill seeking, or any number of things. And you will be able to come up with any number of arguments to convince yourself it's impossible or not worthwhile. But it is your life dude, and I can assure you that many people have gone before you that have found their paths (and their mojo). Stephen King penned a great line once: "it comes down to a simple choice, really; get busy living or get busy dying." I'll be hoping you find your way.