Very interesting! I loved how you linked Adam Smith's philosophy to the idea of self-control as a core principle on which other ethical constructs can be placed; I have not read his works in decades. Like you, I take a bit of a mixed view of the "gentleman" concept. I believe there is merit in today's word of excess and extremism to a calmer, more controlled approach to solving our problems together. The parts I diverge from are the expectation of upholding culturally normative moral codes, the inherent classism, and naïve view of unfettered capitalism. I could not disagree more with Smith that economic success equates moral success, for all the reasons you point out (and more).

More personally: where is role for passion in the world of this paragon of self-control? I think this is the key failing of rationalism (Socrates, Kant, etc) as a basis for ethics (and incidentally why I reject it in favor of the works of Hume, Nietzsche, and Haidt). In terms of the interactions of men with the world, particularly in how we seek to redefine healthy masculinity, we probably need a bit more self-control around aggression, violence, and greed. As for passions, I think we should seek to channel them into healthy outlets without ignoring the centrality of their importance. And I am absolutely including healthy sexual outlets, of all varieties, free of traditional religious-based cultural shaming.

Thanks for considering my response!